Lalala, fandom stuff of yay.

I have medication, now, so hopefully that'll stop me coughing my guts up and suchlike. The doctors were very disapproving that I left it so long to come and see them, but I'm going to live, they said. Which is all good.

I have another 500 words or so on my research project to write, and then a 3000 word essay all before monday. Can I do it? Can I fuck <.< Will be going to spend extortionate amounts of time in the library tomorrow, methinks. Along with trusty laptop. So I should be online. Will need distractions :D

Right, so, while I'm working on Iron Man fic (shut up. All of you.), I found this, little... I dunno gem(?) hidden on my hard drive that I wrote like, in October but never ever posted anywhere, apparently. It's RPS (Chris/Steve) so if that ain't your bag, feel free to drop in a request anyway, I wanna be creative.

So, without further ado, fic!

Title: To Forgive, Divine (To Err is Human)
Author: estel_willow
Word Count: 4128
Rating: R for swearing and themes, I guess
Summary: And it always worked, that was just the way they were, it was their dynamic, it was Chris and Steve and Steve and Chris. No one else understood it but it worked. Or at least, it always did until Chris fucked up spectacularly.
Authors Notes: Like I said, written like, 8 months ago or something. Yay for lurking stories? Also? I hate titles. With a burning passion.

( ...he just silently accepted it and sealed his 'thanks' and 'it's okay' and 'I forgive you' with a kiss. )

What's this, ficlets? It's alright, pick yourself up off the floor you assholes :p I know it's been a long time, but here are a few I wrote earlier. Unbeta'd and crappy, as ever, but it's better than nothing?

Anyway, there's one for the Sarah Connor Chronicles, one for Supernatural and randomly, one for Firefly.

Also, PLEASE, give me prompts for fics. Anything in any of the fandoms I write in: Supernatural (both wincest and non), Firefly (am open minded :D), X-Men (pairing wise: John/Bobby, Jean/Scott, Scott/Emma, Ororo/Logan etc etc, be creative if you wish), RPS (mainly Chris/Steve/Jensen any mixture of the three), Blade (movies - no slash plz) and most recently, apparently, The Sarah Connor Chronicles (again, I'm open minded about pairings, but won't be able to provide Sarah/Cameron, I think)... *squints* there's probably more... but. I wanna start writing again. But, my darlings, I need your help.

SCC - Cameron-centric
Word Count: 593

( SkyNet had made a made a mistake with her. )

*

Supernatural - Sam centric (no wincest)
Word Count: 619

( It had been a year. )

*

Firefly - Inara centric
Word Count: 362

( Being a Companion was a lonely trade )

...and now I go hide under a rock somewhere.

On a real life note, I have another appointment at the dentist tomorrow. 9am, so it's not as horrible as the 8ams, but I gotta go in alone 'cause mum can't take me and since I need the car to pick up mands_angelfox after work, dad has to head into work early so that I can have the car like I was promised. Heather's got cheerleading practise (God, my sister's a cheerleader >.>) so I actually gotta go alone. *panics*

Sarah Connor Chronicles squee! It's made of awesome, John/Cameron ftw. It's so wrong, but you love it anyway.

Anyway, just a quick note, for those of you who have seen it, how much awesome attention to detail do they pay? Episode one, the scene by the lockers where Cameron and John are talking and she walks away, she walks past a poster that says "Don't Go It Alone"

*squeals*

OH NEW SHINY SHOW.

Now I want season 2. And more Supernatural too please. I'm tired of there being hiatuses. Goddamn stupid bloody writers!

Title: A Picture of Me (Without You)
Author: estel_willow
Word Count: 1738
Pairing: Steve Carlson/Christian Kane (Steve/OC)
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: You gotta love miscommunication. Steve gets a girlfriend, Chris freaks out.
Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it. Except maybe the OC.
Notes: Written for kanecountryfic challenge through horrendous writer's block. Thanks to my girls dea_liberty for encouraging me to keep writing even though all that was coming out was shit, and to mands_angelfox for being deluded enough to tell me this was even halfway good. Written for #41:

Imagine a world where no music was playing
Then think of a church where nobody's praying
If you've ever looked up at a sky with no blue
Then you've seen a picture of me without you

George Jones - A Picture Of Me Without You

( A Picture of Me Without You )

Why, oh WHY do I listen to people? lissa_bear totally just conned me into signing up for Sweet Charity. So I did. Offering anything in any fandom I've ever written in (though y'know, Dark Angel, Supernatural, RPS (using Chris, Steve, Jensen, Jared, Sandy, Jessica Alba, Chad Michael Murray, you know, the norm), Fantastic Four, Justice League, Robin aaand something else that I can't remember right now. Promising at least 1000 words, which I know I can do easily, and anything from G up to NC17 with kinks to be negotiated.



So y'know, there you are. Want fic from me or someone else? Head on over to Sweet Charity and bid on an author of your choice. All the proceeds go to charity, so it's totally worthwhile and you get a fic out of it. 'Course, you can't start bidding till like, the 8th. But remember it. (Yeah, that's an edit. Thank you Laura for pointing out that I'm a retard ¬¬ *shoves*)

Clearly I'm insane. However if I don't get bid on, I've got permission to go and be pathetic in Lissa's journal. Dude, I totally posted this without finishing a sentance. Hahaha.

<3 you all.

ONE MONTH TILL MY BIRTHDAY. OMG.

Title: Without Me
Rating: low R (for imagery just to be safe)
Pairings: Steve/Jensen (hints of Jensen/Steve/Chris)
Word Count: 2,258
Feedback: Is love.
Warnings: bit of language, fighting, descriptive imagery, much with the angsting.
Summary: It wasn't like it ever meant anything when they all got together. Weed and beer were passed around like they were going out of style and slow enough they lost themselves in the taste and each other.
Authors Notes: I blame this entirely on ze_pink_lady who showed me all these broken!Chris fics earlier, which then meant I wanted to write one myself. A massive thanks to dea_liberty who audienced this earlier and told me it isn't as shite as I thought it was when I first wrote it. And this fic's for mands_angelfox who writes one of the best Steves I've ever read and dea_liberty whose Chris puts mine to shame.

( It only happened when they were wasted. Or so he thought. )

Just 'cause Dea and I are clearly made of awesome.

Title: Conversations of a Textual Nature
Author: estel_willow and dea_liberty
Pairing: Christian Kane/Chad Michael Murray
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Chris gets bored and texts Chad. Porn ensues.
A/N: This was actually texted between the two of us! And right before a Kane concert too - because we are bad, bad people. Hope you enjoy it!

("It's boring being home alone. Nothing to do... Thinking 'bout you on your knees instead.")

Stupid LJ wank. Everything on here's flocked till it blows over. Stupid stupid LJ wank.

However, it's intreguing the feeling of ever so slight fear that gripped me for a moment thinking that omg i could be targeted. then realising that there is no way in hell I'm important/prolific/good enough to get targeted. Then everything was good again.

So yeah. Have fun with that. I'm going to bed.

...It's raining and there are sirens wailing. Stupid cornwall.

Title: All these things (I could never say)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1700 ish
Summary: She felt fire and a searing pain and then there was nothing. Nothing but darkness and images of her boys. A rush of a long forgotten feeling – sorrow – swept through her as the image cleared, the darkness fading away...
A/n: Written for the asylum_spnfics for unhobbityhobbit. Hope you liked it! ^^ Many thanks to decor_noctis for the beta =)

( Is this what death is? )

Now, even if you tell me how much you love me over YIM, madam, I want a comment on here *stamps foot*. These are your birthday fics. Neither of which took the format I wanted them to, but never mind, you can't pick the muses, huh. The first one's porny. Not as porny as I wanted it to be, but y'know, it's long enough and the second one? Well, let's just say it's Jensen musing on a certain person he saw when he was on stage singing on Saturday night.

♥ I hope you had a great day, baby. I love you so much.

( Fic the first for Laura's birthday: Sam/Dean, R )


Okay, this second fic really is for Laura alone, I mean, it's OOC and stupid, but I'm sure you'll appreciate it, dearheart. Don't say I never do anything for you. I love you honey! (get onto making us OTP icons)

( Fic the second for Laura: Silliness, Asylum, Saturday evening sekritspeshul pairing )

Okay, apologies for the randomness and non-linear update, I'm still floating on the high cloud of euphoria from the weekend of AWESOME. I don't know where to begin, it was such an AMAZING weekend.

I asked Jensen a question today (as I did yesterday - it was about ten inch hero and he doesn't know if it's gonna be put out over here), and it went like this:
me: "So, from all the stories we hear about all the pranks you pull on set... what exactly is it that you do do when you're supposed to-"
Jensen: "you said do do" *grins*
Me: "-learning your lines- yeah..." *giggles*
*crowd laughs*
Jensen: "What was your question again? I'm focused on the do do"

And he was looking RIGHT AT ME as he spoke, he didn't really look around. It was so superb. And then he talked about how he and Jared hung when they weren't on set (technically didn't answer the question, but you know, it was close enough and he did pick up on the fact that I said do do, so y'know, it's all good), and that he slept and worked, and that's about it. He said that working with Jessica wasn't all fun and games - which shattered that illusion for me, but then he said that she called him later to apologise and then they're friends now.

Fell totally in love with Alona Tal this weekend too, because OH MY GOD. She's beautiful and funny and just so sweet. When I had my photo taken with her she said that I was really pretty! *fangirly puddle* She's really smart, so down-to-earth... you know she was drafted into the Israli army when she was 17? She did two years service, so all that stuff about not knowing how to hold a gun? Yeah, kinda bollocks. But yeah, by the time I finally went to get my stuff signed, I'd had my picture taken with her twice and down two coffee-bar sessions with her and she recognised me, remembered my name and everything.

Jensen SANG. Like, TUNEFUL SINGING. He harmonised with Jason Manns and they sang Crazy Love, LIFE AND RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. I think I nearly died because it was so perfect, so beautiful... he was real reluctant to do it, but he did, and that's what's so amazing. And he sounded FABULOUS. Really good considering that he didn't wanna do it and he hadn't really rehearsed properly as far as we could tell. And he was so shy but so beautiful. Oh, so in love. Laura got a clean audio copy of the full song, but y'know, her hands were shaking so it isn't focused on the stage for all that long.

Speaking of singing, Alona Tal sang a few lines for us, as did Allison Mack - man their voices are amazing. Especially Allison Mack's. And Alan Richardson/Richards - aquafag whatever his name was - also sang too. He was pretty damn good.

Someone asked about fanfiction and Jensen talked about Wincest. Like, actually talked about Wincest. Kim Manners apparently sent them some, and the gay mistaken identity thing was Kripke saying 'look how ridiculous Wincest is' but teehee. Apparently he and Jared had a good laugh at that - in the car on the way back Laura and I were mortified at the even remote chance that it was something we'd written/knew really well that had been read, I was dying to ask which fics he'd read, but I didn't, I settled for the do do and Jessica Alba questions instead.

God, there's so damn much I don't even know what I'm saying. I met Dea and Heather and other people from my flist, I got given my Asylum ficathon fic written for me by the awesome smeckles90 (I think), and it really is good. Absolutely amazing.

I turned round and waved at the camera like an idiot when it ran over our heads, meaning that the dude zoomed in on my face and I grinned and waved before turning round - Laura and I were definitely the most interesting of the audience that it zoomed in on, I mean, we waved and didn't hide like the others.

There's gonna be a DVD. You'll be able to HEAR ME TALKING TO JENSEN on the DVD.

My photoshoot with Jensen was awesome, he pulled me right into his side, his fingers were brushing my ass man, I swear to God. He looks so sexy in the picture. Alona looks really beautiful in the one that she took with me and SHE SAID I WAS PRETTY. I think I died, made a fangirly squeal and melted into a little puddle, you know? I mean, OMG. He kind of remembered me later as well when I went to get an autograph because I had told him my name that morning and he guessed 'Helen' and I was all 'close enough, Hannah' and he grinned and said that it was awesome to meet me (not that it's anything special 'cause I'm sure he said it to everyone, but y'know)

Jensen calls Jared "Jarhead" an awful lot. Jared calls Jensen "J-dog". Kim Manners calls Jared "Pluto", "Sasquatch", "Idiot" and "Moron" a lot. Kim Manners is absolutely awesome.

One audience member asked Jensen to tell Eric for more hugging between the brothers and Jensen was like 'I thought we'd moved on from the Wincest'. Teehee! I bought a demon tour t-shirt, I have Chris Kane and Chad Michael Murray autographs. They're facing each other so they can make sweet-sweet love now that no one's looking. Spent way too much money I really don't have. Had a shoot with Nicky Aycox, Brooke Nevin and Alona Tal all in one as well as the separate ones with Alona and Jensen. HOMG.

Jensen did the blue steel face. And told the bee story in a totally different and new way. ♥

Seriously, there's really now way to explain in words how amazingly AWESOME this weekend was. I mean, it's definitely, without a doubt, the best convention I have been to ever.

Laura and I went to the party last night dressed as transgenics, barcodes on the backs of our necks and everything, and there's a video of us dancing. I pole-danced on Elli's lightsaber (she went as Anakin and got mistaken for a guy and hit on and had lots of photos taken of her) and one of her mad fangirls asked for a picture to be taken of me touching the lightsabre inappropriately. =D

Elli will be on Livejournal, there is no doubt.

Also met Allison Mack. She walked over and patted my knee when I stuttered in the coffee-bar thing, told me it was okay and I should get take a deep breath before I spoke again and Alona came and sat next to me for a while. My heart practically left my body.

Laura's typing away like a mad-woman, but I'm running out of things to say. They played such a random range of music last night from Renegade and Highway to Hell to the Macarena and Timewarp. The DJ was too random, really, but it was FINE because the whole night was AWESOME. I got really really hyped up, then we left early and crashed and burned and I didn't wanna get up this morning, but I did, because I'm a good friend like that *G*

...I can't say more. I really can't, there's just NO WORDS THAT DESCRIBE THE AWESOMENESS OF THIS CONVENTION. I'm definitely going to go next year. Definitely. Because dude. DUDE.

However, despite my best efforts the time seemed to slip away and the people I'd been hoping to see and hang with weren't really available, I missed hanging with Petra, I didn't even get to meet autumnfades or michaela3105. Aside from that, dude it was freaking awesome. Laura took like, 80 pictures and all but six of them were of Jensen in various states and places.

Alona Tal reads livejournal. I'm fully aware that she'll probably NEVER see this, but y'know, hey, what does it matter? HI ALONA! =D Congratulations on the wedding.

Oh! Jensen got pounced by a crazed fan. She like, leapt on him and was pulled off. Security shoved him into the elevator and she leapt in after him. Understandably, she got banned. I'm not surprised, really.

But HOMG. See, that's what the convention has reduced me to. HOMGHOMGHOMG. Incoherency.

First official Supernatural convention in the world? ROCKED. And Jensen sang. Let's petition for JARED to come to the one next year. HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD.

I want it to be next May now. Please.

Laura has pictures and the video. Shall edit the post once the links become available.

...*incoherent*

Edit: PICTURES!
( Piiiiiictures )

Never has this icon been more appropriate. You'll see what I mean later on in the story. Okay, so this is the untitled J2 AU thing that I'm writing for Nicky. I need some flist opinion, just to reassure me that, as a beginning, it isn't crappy. There's about 3,000 words of actual story written, but I just, y'know, want a little reassurance that I'm not barking totally up the wrong tree here, you know?

Also title suggestions. kinkynicky I'm lookin' atchoo 'cause yanno, twas your idea :p
Rating (of snippet): G
Summary: Jared's girlfriend has a brother...
Jared the captain of the football team, dates McKenzie, the head cheerleader. It all makes sense. The world is as it should be...until Jared meets Kenzie's older brother Jensen. Self-assured and pretty as hell, Jensen wants Jared, and he won't stop until he's got him.

Now, this is just the beginning, but bear with me, hopefully it should be a good ride.

( In high school, there is a certain order... )

*

In other news, it's raining here. Had a meeting with Kingsley Marshall about my essay and he told me that I was getting there, I was on the right lines but not quite there yet. I need to see Mark and find out what the hell's happening tomorrow and whether or not I actually need to get up for the 9am lecture 'cause I ain't bothering if it's not on. Aaand I need to tell Kyle that I need the weekend of the 5-6th May off and from the 10th-14th May off, but I'll work extra shifts to cover for people who'll be covering my Fridays...

Work again on Wednesday, last night if was fine, cool even, and I was on the bar alooone, which was kinda scary, but yanno, never mind. I think I put the wrong thing into the till once, but it was easy enough to correct and today has just dragged on and on and on and on. Spent some time with boy!crush. Got creeped out. Boy!crush is a no-go. At all. Also possibly have somewhere to live over the summer so that might be quite good.

Also had a very strange dream night before last. It involved Claire, Emily, dea_liberty and benitle, along with a supporting cast of Chad Michael Murray and some random guys who they all seemed to know but CMM and I didn't know any of them. We were walking down the harbour in Villamura (where we used to have a holiday house) when we bumped into the guys, then there was pairing off and I was left with Chad and we just started talking - in my head he's nice - and then we ended up at a bar. Petra, Claire and Emily were all with their respective guys, Dea had ditched hers to chill with Chad and me. There ended up being cuddling on the couch, me on one side of CMM and Dea on the other, mentions of Chris Kane (to which Chad got uncomfortable and cagey and like he was being naughty by being with girls) and... yeah. Strange.

My laptop seems to be messing around at the moment, last two times I tried to open WMP I got the blue screen of death at the bottom of the screen and at the top of the screen it said something about "kernel_data_inpage_error" ???

BAH. So yes, I'm being dragged out tonight, the creepy guy (who is DEFINITELY no longer boy!crush and shall from this point on be referred to as CG - creepy guy) was all 'oh it's awesome that I've gotta do all this work but at the end I get to go clubbing with u!' and I'm just... yeah... I cooked you pasta, that's it. *creeped out* But I'm not sure I want to go, someone create a random (and not real) crisis that means I have to bail early from the clubbing! I aim to be back by midnight/half twelve, really, because I'm totally not in a party-ing mood.

Well, that was longer than I thought it would be.

♥

Oh BLAH. We're leaving at 6am. I shall post fic to pass the time. So, have wincesty fic.

Title: The Gift (That Keeps on Giving)
Rating: G
Word Count: 687
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Summary: “Yeah, “smart”,” Sam groused, “It’s the gift that keeps on giving.”
A/N: Well, laugiana tried to help me get over my writer's block, so yanno, this is the first one to two, she's gonna have to wait for the other one 'cause it didn't want to be written right away. So, without further ado, pouty Sam. =)

( It's like the gift that keeps on giving. )

Title: World's Finest
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Word Count:
Summary: Once, Jared said offhandedly that he and Jensen were like Batman and Superman. As he bounded off, Jensen could have sworn he heard Jared add, "except, of course, Batman and Superman are secretly fucking" Jensen, of course, obsesses over this.
A/N: Tiny spoiler for Heart! Uh... I'm sorry? I just sat down and wrote, and this happened. Many thanks to moment_of_sen for looking over it and helping me make it make sense, and benitle for telling me it was good! ^_^ And y'know, to you guys who told me to finish it after I posted the snippet. ♥ (psst! feedback is love!)

( The World's Finest )

Title: Sweet Dreams (are made of these)
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,154
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Summary: “Jay…” he managed, not shouting but making sure he was loud enough to be heard by Jared, “we’re in a public place.” Jensen gets a surprise when out clubbing in the form of Jared. And he'll never be able to think of that song in the same way.
A/N: Came up with this idea at the club we were at tonight. Wrote the first part of it on my phone, lol. Title and song used in the fic is Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) by the Eurythmics. I own nothing and no one. This didn't happen (more's the pity). Also, mucho thanks to kinkynicky for glancing over this for me at ass am just before I posted it. And then moment_of_sen for looking it over again. Feedback is love, since I'm nervous about not only posting porn but posting Jsquared, which is something I tend not to write.

Dedicated to: ze_pink_lady since I'm holding out on the next installment of the evil!Sam porn, and to moment_of_sen for being a sneaky facilitator at the club earlier on tonight.

( The club was dark and the music pounded, sweeping the dancers up in its hypnotic beat... )

Okay, since I clearly am ze_pink_lady's bitch, and fic wife (which is a better title than writer squirrel I will say), and because she's writing me evil!Dean (and I did promise I would attempt another evil!Sam fic), and since she posted a snippet of the evil!Dean on her journal, the very least I can do is do the same for her. She wanted evil!mind!controlling Sam/Dean, so y'know, I'm doing my best to oblige her, but this fic wouldn't allow me to just make it porn, ooh no, there is a set up and a lot of plot too. possibly even no porn, haha, Lau, how'd you like them apples? <- that's a lie, there will be porn. Sam's being all schmexy. I literally sat down and wrote a 1400 2000 2500 at 7am and I have to stop now or I'll never get sleep - half seven and it ain't happening, I'm flowing. There's no porn yet, but Sam's talking dirty? (but you're only getting 1400) words on this thing just now, so Laura, you'd better bloody appreciate this!

So, without further ado... I give you a snippet of evil!mindcontrolling!Sam fic. As of yet without a title, it is literally just a small section. But it's better than nothing. And possibly all anyone's going to see for a long time. Could be considered spoilery, but not really, Sam truly is evil.

( Eeeebil! )

...TBC, hopefully...

Hey baby, I know you're not happy and not feeling well, so I thought I'd do you a picspam to make you feel better. There is lots of pretty here. Not dial up safe in the slightest.

So, we're doing Jessica first, then Jensen. There's a lot of photos, so my only comment is. Wow. Love.
( Jensen and Jessica oh my! )

Feel better baby!

Title: Falling Into Cliché
Rating: G
Pairing: Padackles
Summary: People always thought that if something was good, it was never going to end. Or, they thought the extreme, that if something was good it was going to end right away and never ever come back again. Jared and Jensen are like chalk and cheese, and that's why they're so perfect together.
Word count: 612
A/N: Unbeta'd. Written in about half an hour before I went out partaying. Fresher's is awesome. =D

( If you asked them how they got together, they would glance at each other, smile shyly and then tell you completely different stories. )

Title: Strange New World
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Max/Alec, Blaze
Summary: It's a strange new world for seven year old Blaze. Fresh out of Manticore she is discovering things she never even knew existed. Not all of these things are good, though, and that she can't understand either.
A/N: For Sen, who wanted a ficlet from the baby!verse. Okay, so basically mMax and Alec had lots of sex and there was a kid that was born at the end of it. This is written in a really weird way, but y'know, I just wrote, this is what came out at the end of it. Hope you like it sweetie!

( It is a strange new world that has such creatures in it. )